Thursday May 2nd I had my 39 week appointment to get my cervix checked and check on baby boy. Saturday May 4th was my expected due date. I was filled with so much anxiety and excitement. Every day before my appointment I had been doing whatever I could to get Carter out. I did almost everything in the book to start labor. I went on walks, ate pineapple, ate spicy food and bounced on a ball. I know there’s more things you can do but I wasn’t about to do anything too crazy. My doctor thought I was silly because she doesn’t believe any of these things work.
At my 39 week appointment my cervix was still closed. I was so disappointed and confused because I was having contractions all the time that were definitely uncomfortable. My doctor told me that she wouldn’t let me go over 41 weeks because that’s when complications can start to happen. She also told me she felt like I was going to have a big baby. We were going to wait til Saturday (my due date) to see if Carter would make an appearance and if not I would have a follow up appointment Tuesday May 7th. She said most babies come the day before or the day after the due date.
Saturday May 4th came and went and Sunday also came and went. I was actually happy he wasn’t born on either of those days because I didn’t want him born on “May the 4th be with you” or Cinco Day Mayo. I wanted him to have his own special day. May 7th rolled around and when I showed up to my appointment my doctor’s assistant saw me and said “You’re still pregnant?! Oh my goodness he’s going to be a big baby! Are you ready because today is the day we will get you scheduled for your induction!” Wow that was crazy to hear. Knowing no matter if this baby came on his own I would have a scheduled day where I would meet him. Either that day or before I hit 41 weeks.
My doctor checked my cervix again and I was 1 cm. She said everything felt softer too. I was thrilled my cervix wasn’t closed anymore but that still wasn’t a lot of progress. She measured my belly and listened to Carter’s heartbeat. She still kept reminding me he was going to be a big baby. I kept telling her to be quiet because I didn’t want to hear that! My doctor asked me if I wanted to schedule my induction for the next day or if I wanted to wait to see if he would come in the next few days before I hit 41 weeks. I told her as soon as possible because If Carter was already big I didn’t want him getting any bigger. Pushing a huge baby out of me did not sound like fun. So she scheduled my induction for the next day Wednesday May 8th at 8 pm. She said she wanted me there at 8 pm because they would place a small pill called Miso inside my cervix to soften and ripen it. It would hopefully start some stronger contractions and get things going while letting me stay over night at the hospital and get some sleep. I thought that sounded silly because how in the world could you get any sleep with more uncomfortable contractions AND sleeping in a hospital.
After my appointment it felt so crazy to know we had a planned day when baby would be coming. No more thinking he’d come at any moment and feeling anxious about it. We did joke about him randomly coming that night because we knew now when the induction would be. Sometimes that happens!
Wednesday morning I was filled with so much anxiety. On top of that my mom had been staying with us for the last week and found out she had shingles! Worst timing ever. The pain was so bad she was throwing up and really needed someone to take care of her. I had to prepare myself for my induction that evening. I did whatever I could to take care of her and had my step-dad pick her up and take her home. We couldn’t take any chances with the new baby coming home soon. It was so unfortunate and I had to keep myself from crying many times thinking she wouldn’t be there for Carter’s birth like we had planned.
We planned on having my mother-in-law stay at our house with my son Brayden while my husband, sister-in-law and I stayed at the hospital. When my first son was born it was totally different. We had everyone at the hospital with us for the birth. So it felt so weird going to the hospital with just my husband and sister-in-law. I really did want my mother-in-law and my own mother there but this is just how things ended up and I had to be strong and accept it. Around 7:30 pm Wednesday evening we took off to the hospital and it felt like the longest drive ever! During the drive I was trying not to cry about my mom and also my son. I was missing Brayden already so bad. In the 2 years he’s been alive I have never stayed the night away from him. I knew he was in good hands but I missed him like crazy. I also didn’t want him to hate me for leaving him.
When we got to the hospital we checked in and they showed us to the room we would be staying in/having Carter in. There were two nurses. One of them was in training. They were both very nice and the one that was in training explained she had been a nurse for several years but wanted to be trained in labor and delivery. She said that anything I wasn’t okay with her doing I would just need to speak up and say something. She would be taking the most care of me and then the other nurse would check on her and I every so often. I understood people need training and she was super nice so I just went with it.
The nurses began explaining how the Miso pill worked and that they would check my cervix first then insert it. They got an IV going in my arm, had me put a gown on and get all comfortable. They then told me that because the one nurse was in training she would check my cervix and then the other nurse would check right after to make sure she was doing it correctly. In the beginning I was okay with it because I wasn’t in any pain. They said if I wasn’t okay with being checked twice I could say no and that would be fine. I let them check me and I was still at 1 cm. They inserted the pill and told me to get some rest if I could. I was actually pretty hungry but it was late so I just snacked on some graham crackers before we all went to sleep. I was told in the morning I could order some breakfast so I planned on doing that.
The nurses also explained to me that they would check my cervix again in about 4 hours to see if the Miso was doing anything. If it was, great and if not they would start me on Pitocin in the morning at 6 am to speed things up. I was familiar with Pitocin because I was induced with Brayden when I was pregnant with him. I was not looking forward to the morning because of the Pitocin but I knew it would just get me closer to meeting my son so I had to get through it.
I was really surprised I got any sleep that night. I maybe slept 3 hours. I was so emotional over missing Brayden and sleeping away from him. I knew he was in good hands but I missed my baby. I also started getting some intense contractions. Some weren’t too bad and I was able to sleep through them but then some would wake me up. Throughout the night the nurse would have to come in and adjust the monitors on my belly because I was tossing and turning so they would move. I would also get up to use the bathroom and they would move around more. They needed to make sure they were in the right place so they could continue monitoring baby’s heartbeat and my contractions. A few times the nurses would come in and ask me random questions too. One time the nurse in training woke me up to ask if I did illegal drugs or smoked marijuana. I was pretty annoyed and pissed off. Why would you wake someone up to ask that! Especially someone who is about to have a baby and needs their rest. I was ready for these nurses to have a shift change so I could have someone else take care of me.
In the middle of the night I was woken up again for them to check my cervix. Several hours went by and I was a 1-2 cm. Not much progress again so I knew by morning they would start me on the Pitocin. I let them know I didn’t want to be checked twice anymore. It was starting to feel very uncomfortable. I made sure to remind them also that I wanted to eat in the morning because I was pretty hungry. Morning came around and it was 6 am. I had already filled out a breakfast order and when the nurse came in I assumed we would be eating soon. I know it’s just breakfast but I was pretty hangry and tired. I wanted to eat before they got things going so I would have a full stomach. When the nurse came in she said “I am so sorry hun but we have to start you on the Pitocin now. So unfortunately you won’t be able to eat any breakfast.” She said it with a smile too so it annoyed me so much! I was pretty angry at this point. In a way this might have been meant to be though because I was very nauseous later on and if I would have ate a huge breakfast I probably would have been throwing it all up.
6 am Pitocin was started. Man did the contractions come on quick and hard. A few hours went by and I felt I was going to have diarrhea. Yes I’m being real and honest because this is what really happened. I was so afraid of pooping during the birth I had to try and go. At this point there was a new nurse (shift change) and she was absolutely an angel sent from heaven. I had prayed that night for the new nurse to be amazing. I knew the next nurse would be there for the birth and I needed someone genuine and not all smiley in my face. She was very kind yet real with me. I needed that with the pain I was about to feel. She helped me to the bathroom and said are you sure you have to go to the bathroom and you’re not feeling baby down there? I told her I really didn’t think it was baby time. Sure enough my stomach was just upset and I felt so much better after using the bathroom.
I got back in the bed and was really starting to feel contractions. They were very uncomfortable and I was thinking how horrible it would have been feeling these at home if I went into labor on my own. I was glad to be in the hospital and ready to get this baby out. The new nurse checked my cervix and I was finally at 3 cm. I was almost not able to tolerate the pain anymore. The nurse asked if I wanted to try any other pain medication before I decided to get an epidural. That maybe it would help. She also offered nausea medication because I was feeling pretty sick. The nausea was coming from having an empty stomach. I said yes to both and she reminded me I might feel a tad dizzy from the medication. It hit me pretty fast and I can’t even remember what the pain medicine was called. I had to close my eyes and lay back because my vision was so blurred. I was so thankful I had brought a fan from home. I had them put it next to my face and it really helped with the nausea. I felt super hot and uncomfortable in every position. I tried standing, leaning over the bed, sitting up and laying down. Everything was hurting. It felt like massive cramps in my pelvis. The contractions were coming on so close and felt so long. It was almost impossible to rest at that point.
The only two positions that helped the most were laying on my side holding onto the handle tightly and sitting up holding onto my husband. I had him rub my lower back too and that helped for awhile. I was breathing pretty good and it was helping until the contractions were so strong I was crying and screaming in pain. I could barely breathe. I was hysterical. I kept saying “I can’t do this anymore! I’m done!” It’s funny remembering me saying that but in the moment I wanted the pain to be over. I couldn’t handle it anymore.
I started to also feel pressure down in my butt. I remember the nurses telling me that I needed to tell them when I felt this. That would mean it was almost time to push and/or baby’s head was down there. So I told the nurse and she said she needed to check my cervix again. She also warned me it would be very uncomfortable. At this point I didn’t even care. The nurse told me I was a 7 and I couldn’t believe it. No wonder I was in so much pain! She kept reminding me I could get the epidural at any time so I was ready. This was probably one of the worst parts of my labor. Sitting still for the epidural. I had to because I needed it. I was desperate. It was the hardest things I’ve ever done. The anesthesiologist came in and told me all the things I needed to know about it. She said I would need to sit extremely still and hunched over. If I felt any pinching to say something because that’s not a good sign. I hunched over on this contraption they brought in. Feet up on it with my head pushed through a round cushion. I asked for the anesthesiologist to wait to do the needle after a contraction would end. She agreed but that didn’t help. I had 3 contractions during the entire epidural. I was trying to focus on my breathing the best I could and I don’t even know how I was able to sit still. The pain from my contractions was excruciating. In that moment time felt like it had stopped when I wanted it to go faster.
During my epidural I felt this huge pop like a water ballon had popped and warm liquid flooded everywhere. I was crying and said “My water just broke!” The nurse smiled and said “That’s great Morgan! You’re almost there!” It was the weirdest feeling ever! With all this pain I still had this awesome empowered feeling knowing my body was doing everything it needed to do to get this baby out. The epidural was done and I instantly felt it working. I should of asked for it sooner. All the contraction pain up front was gone. My body instantly felt so tired and I fell back onto the bed feeling so relaxed. I could actually rest. I closed my eyes and tried to regain my strength to prepare for pushing my baby out. Also during this time they put in a catheter. This is required when getting an epidural. It was fast and not very painful. It was actually really nice to have so I wouldn’t have to worry about getting up and going to the bathroom.
At this point I was now feeling so much pressure in my butt. I was kind of pushing a tad each time I felt it because it made it feel better. Then all of a sudden I felt my body pushing on its own. I made sure to let the nurse know and she decided to check me again. She said I was a 10 and baby’s head was right there. I freaked out in excitement! She then told me she needed to see where my doctor was to make sure she would be there to deliver the baby. They were on the phone with her and she said she was driving to the hospital as fast as she could. There was no way I could wait or keep Carter in. It felt like he was coming out on his own!
A few minutes later my doctor arrived. They put my legs up and it was baby time! Everything all of a sudden started happening so fast. I tried to take it all in. We were finally going to meet our second little man. I had my husband on the left side of me and my sister-in-law on the right. They were the best team I could have in the hospital helping me through all of this. Not one time did they get emotional or make it about them. They were there for me and they were strong for me.
It was go time and my doctor reminded me how to push with my butt. She asked if I was ready to push with the next contraction. I was so ready! First contraction started and I started to push. They told me to hold it and push as hard as I could. I was really pushing with all that I had and they said they saw his head. My doctor looked me in the eyes and said I need you to really push with everything this next time because he needs to come out. He’s already partway out. Next contraction came and I began to push. I was reminded that moment about the “ring of fire” one of the nurses had talked about. She had told me the epidural would numb the contractions but I would still feel the pressure in my butt and the ring of fire.
Oh my gosh did I feel it. This baby was HUGE. I could feel him stuck right there in my you know what. That second contraction I was pushing so hard and my doctor was looking at me like she was terrified. She said “Morgan I’m going to need your help!” I was thinking what?! I was already pushing the hardest I could and I could see here moving her arms around trying to pull him out. I had never seen that before. I was pushing and she was pulling! At this point Carter was stuck at the top of his shoulders. The contraction went away and I was not about to sit there with a huge baby halfway out and halfway in. So I asked if I could push not during a contraction and she said “yes go for it!” So I began pushing again. In that moment Carter was pulled out and put on my stomach. Just like that we had our baby boy! I was in shock because for a minute I thought something bad was about to happen. I won’t ever forget the fear on my doctor’s face. I also couldn’t believe this almost 10 pound baby was mine! He was so chunky with dark hair. Brayden was such a small baby with light hair. Was this really my child?! Man was he chunky! I kept staring at him trying to figure out who he looked like the most. I couldn’t believe I grew this baby and pushed him out.
Carter William was born May 9th at 11:38 am weighing 9 pounds and 12 ounces! 21 inches long with dark hair and dark eyes! Labor started at around 6 am for me and 5 and a half hours later he arrived. I was told when I first pushed he was stuck at his forehead and eyes. So he had some bruising on his forehead, nose and eyebrows. He was then stuck at his shoulders which were very sore for the first week. Thankfully no serious damage. Not only is labor painful and hard to go through but it’s also a lot for your baby to go through. They can get pretty banged up.
Special thanks to my sister-in-law Cayla for taking these photos for me! I will cherish them forever! If you’re expecting I totally recommend having someone take your photos during your labor and delivery! You will be so happy you did. Even if it’s not a professional photographer or all you have is your cell phone. You will love having such special photos to look back on.